When I was a Midwestern kid I would squander 50 cents at the county fair to see the World’s Largest Rat! It was, in fact, a Capybara, which is what a guinea pig would grow into as the result of an atomic experiment gone wrong. Peaceful and in perpetual motion, they roam free and unmolested across the resort. Their fur begs to be petted, but they won’t stay put to permit it.